Friday, July 26, 2019

When I Met You in The Summer

So.... I just watched this really popular movie called "500 Days of Summer" - ok I just got chance to finally watch it till the end! Everybody knew it was a well rated movie since it started screening in 2009. At first my reaction was just "Oh..." or "Meh..." into "Okay , here we go!". After tried a couple of times to watch it - without felt asleep in the middle of the movie, this movie is definitely on the edge of my seat! Like... damn where have I been? Why didn't I watch it earlier in my life?

Does the movie meet my expectation?
Hmm... Before I decided to watch it, I was like "should I watch it tonight and be okay after?" yep, I expected I would cry alone on Wednesday night, lol but it turned ok :D It was kinda sad but didn't make me cry at the end :D

I am writing this post right after 30 mins I finished watching it. This movie is legit. Personally it taught me some love lessons in life. Could say it gives me a slap in my face about the ugly-truth of love. It gives me new perspectives about how have we been blinded by love - don't get me wrong I am in those category of people with a strong believer that love is not blind but DON'T DENY IT as a human being, once in your life time your brain will betray you and let your heart win the situation!

So, I make this little dots about things I have learnt from this movie:

1. Dating and The Uncertainty 

The very first process before two people committed for being in relationship is dating. I came from a society that is not really familiar with 'dating stage' as the standard in western countries. I grew up and have been taught, if people referring to couple who are kissing, hugging, or even having sex during this 'dating stage', that's definitely a married couple. OR if they are unmarried, then the girl is the slut and the guy is uneducated.

So, there was this guy who I met through online dating app, he taught me a lot about dating - and yep he was my first guy who I "dated". Apparently, dating is a really common thing here in Australia. I was a beginner, blinded and don't know much what normally couple do at this stage. He was a nice, sporty, cool guy - I liked him. We had been dating for one month with the frequency of meeting each other once a week due to his busy schedule. It went okay for the first month - even tho I felt insecure about us. Why? Because at that stage I liked him so much, and maybe more than he liked me. Secondly, for the sake of monogamy I felt insecure about us. The never ending "what-ifs" killing me every nights! What if he meet a new girls? What if he likes them and not me? What if he found someone better than me? What if he just wants something casual?

I felt Tom - his feeling when chasing over Summer (before she said nothing serious between them). Related image

All of those ons-offs feeling when I was dating that guy made me emotionally unstable. It hurts so much when I knew he didn't know what were we going to end up AND that was suck! Things didn't go well. We stop seeing each other after three months.  From him, I knew that uncertainty in dating stage is the most stressful feeling ever!

2. Be Realistic!

Again, heart and brain are never be the best team worker! And trust me I knoooow heart and feelings are selfish when it comes to love. It's called blinded for a reason! And I knoooow it is hard to synchrony both of these organs, until I cried in the middle (more like every single nights) of the night, alone, with a fridge open and a tube of ice cream on my lap - and realised that everything is 'too late'.

Thinking that this indecision guy is going to change his mind and make me an official girlfriend is just an unrealistic.

A little bit about his background, he had dated a girl back in high school and lasted *surprisingly* more than two years. I don't know what were the reasons but they broke up. Ever since that day, this guy has been an a$$hole heartbreaker. He decided not to be in any relationships, instead just being available and casual until his heart is ready.

The night before we finally met up, he explained to me about his main purpose meeting me was just "casual-dating". Since I was the noob, he made sure I understood the situation and not giving me false hope. Ok. I didn't promise myself but I wasn't expecting any feelings for a guy who clearly stated no string attached to take care of me seriously! In my mind, I kept reminding myself, this is going to be fun, meet him twice then end it.  BUT... things had changed after the first date! 

I found him funny, cute, and effortless. Being with him was like a vitamin boost to my self. I like me when I was with him! 0 effort required - it was easy. He was a simplistic guy, easy-going, and fun! Time passed so fast whenever we spent it together. He felt 'home' whenever he was with me, I felt happier when I received his texts, he once considered to ended his single status with me.  We were happy, trust me :')    The butterflies were in our stomach until...  He was indecisive and ambiguous about us. I noticed it was my fault, to actually neglect the fact, that from the first place, it wasn't the reality. That 'happy' fun moments would not meant to be for us. He was just  indecisive guy with no relationship intension.

 Image result for 500 days of summer quotes

The reality is this simple, if someone is unsure about you from the beginning, you will get hurt. You can't force someone to like you. That indecision is also a decision! 

3. Timing = Fate 

Believe it or no, time frame plays along in our life! In our work, in our situation, and also relationship. What if, I met this guy when he was actually serious to find a lifetime partner? Things would be different. Btw, I am so sorry I can't mention why did we actually separate but one of the reasons is because he was (is) not ready for a commitment.

He had been a single guy with no interest about relationship, UNTIL he met me. That I thought, this is it, I finally made up his mind. My thought that he actually loved me was wrong. A bitter fact that I need to accept - we met at the wrong timing. In the movie, we often blaming Summer for being a bit*h. She puts Tom in a high hopes for 500 days LMAO, that's cruel tbh! But personally, I think Summer isn't a bitch, timing is! Yes, timing is a bitch!Image result for 500 days of summer quotes timing

After what happened to us, I sometimes still wondering, how my life would be if we were actually destined to be together.... The what if-ish is a long list, until a friend of mine said: "If he is not ready, then he is not. He is not for you to keep, he is not yours now. Time will change his mind and heart. Because is not your task to make him actually ready for a relationship. Something forced won't last.." 

Image result for 500 days of summer quotes

Again, Summer is not a bitch, timing is! He is not an asshole, he just simply not ready. Our pace was not perfectly match for us to be together. and that's it, end of story! :')
I could not blame him entirely just because he was ambiguous about his own feelings and us. He did mention before the first date that he was only interested in casual and not a permanent status.

4. Life Goes On 

Always remind myself, that you can fall in love with someone who isn't right for you and that's OK. Because life goes on :) 

Image result for 500 days of summer quotes timing

We couldn't control who we fall in love with OR who falls in love with us - we could only create an expectation. But when we set (high) expectation to a wrong person, it could hurt ourselves.
But that's OK! We all learnt at the end of the day. If it doesn't work out with that guy, I knew we were just not meant to be together.

Life goes on. We need to be patience and perhaps give time to ourselves to explore more. In the end, every relationship is a learning experience. Don't let one relationship destroy your chance at happiness :) And always be positive that time will heal and answer you in the best way at ur own pace. 

Because, when you are ready, you will find that right person... 

Tulip Festival,  Lilydale (2017)

Somehow, Im glad I just watched it today. Perhaps, if I watch it earlier I would never understand how deep the moral of the story is! Because I have been through both Tom and Summer situations recently. Knowing the ending was "bad" for Tom because he didn't end up being with Summer, doesn't make sad at all. Instead, a better version of him shows up and of course a rainbow after the rain - Autumn!  Cheers, Soph! 

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Purple Easter 2016


Apa kabar? :) How Are you? :) 오랜만이야 ? :) Ni Hao ma? :) Hahaha... I don't know how to write such an impressive introduction for a blog that I've never touch nor visited since the day I've been busy with uni life :( my apology. Before I start, let me tell you a good news :D *Clear throats* 

I'd like to announce, that... I am finally in my last semester  v(^ ^)v And yeah, Im finally at this point where Im going to wear my graduation gown, can you tell how excited am I? INEFFABLE! To cut short, I will write and describe more about my university life in another posts. But for today, I really just wanna talk more about my Purple Easter :D

Well, this year will be my 4th time celebrating Easter alone *way far from home*. Tbh, I've never been to any church to celebrate Easter in here *Oops* BUT, I always do a live streaming Good Friday or the Easter Sunday via my laptop. Dude, this is 20th century 2016 and the technology is here, kay? Im blessed that my church in Bali also got this ability, capacity, and technology to do the live streaming for the past three years that I've been here *Im sorry idk exactly when they started to go viral*. It is beneficial for me since Easter is always around March or April and if you know how the weather condition is changing (dropping) which I hate it! When it is supposed to be Autumn *or the other cities in Australia probably experience the real Autumn* but down here in Melbourne, you don't have to wait for winter  because it usually starts earlier than Australian bureau of meteorology could predict! *Cheers*

After such a long arguing with my self,  I took the liberty to dye my hair again :)) So, for welcoming this Easter I choose Purple - one of my fave colours. At first I was thinking "Will I be fine?" "Am I ready?""What am I suppose to wear to match my purple hair later?" But then shit, just do it! And... here is the result: 

 First Impression: DAMN, 
Im choosing the right colour this time!!

I think I will stick with all-white to match 
my hair colour T_T

PS. Different lighting may 
affect the colours. 

So far, Im so HAPPY with this colour tho. This is what I wanted for so long.
Some of you probably wondering where did I get this done? Hohoho, after long-research asking bunch of friends, finally one name came out as a win - SUI Hair Salon in Melbourne CBD. 
They did amazing jobs! Like seriously!! Because lots of my friends always go there to dyed their hair. And I also saw their instagram ( @sui_hairdressing ) which has the hairdressers' portfolio of their jobs. They also mention who did the colour on each photos and make you able to contact the hairdressers as well! The one who did mine was Rosie. 

 For more information you can visit their website  Sui Salon Melbourne . Seriously they did a great job! ^^ 

Last but not least,

RealityTVGIFs im back vanderpump rules i'm back stassi schroeder

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Melbourne? BORING. Bring Me Back to Bali, Sir!!

There were a lot of things that I was afraid to face in Melbourne.
Many things had to be handle and prepared before leaving my Bali.
The biggest thing that I was afraid of was leaving my family as we would not see each other for about one year.
However, I have realized how blessed I am when I arrived in here. 

First of all, I am one of the lucky students who be 'selected' and have a chance to study in Melbourne.Secondly, there was a lot of people in here tried to be my second 'family'. They have thought me how to use public transport and how to get cheaper food for dinner, wakakaka. They are friendly and warmly to welcome me in here. Thirdly, I've got many overseas friends. Actually, most of them are from CHINA ._.I have felt motivated when I know every struggles that they have reached until now.I know it a bit difficult for them to learn English rather than indonesian people.But, is that impossible for them? I do not think so! It must be hard for them, but see? WE ARE in the same class-to-study-same-materials-everyday!! Some of them are very nice but some of them look like have a face like "Punch Me! I AM THE BEST STUDENT EVER!!"Honestly speaking, I was very lucky because I sat around clever-nice-warm-diligent-etc.etc.good people.Their name are Hector, Stephen, and Alex. All of them are from China BUT their english are pretty good in my ears.We can share our experiences and work in team as well.Thus, there is no reasons for me to NOT be thankful of this life.

Finally, I do not forget to say thanks to God - because of EVERYTHING that He has done in my life, to my parents - because their patience, to all my friends whose I could not mention one by one, and to every problems in my life that make me who I am today. 

I am not saying my university life will be easy. Actually, I have to prepare my se
lf to be able to face every harder things in the future. It is gonna be HARD to face, HARD to understand, and no body tells it is gonna be as easy as you live in Bali. Anyway, it is not impossible, just hard, isn't it?

The most important thing is : I wish to be happy every day which is I can start it with be thankful for everything that Jesus has provided for me...

Friday, December 23, 2011

A Letter From The Little Brittle

Here's to all the girls who used to be his number one.
The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning and be disappointed.
The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life ONLY to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened.

Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, "I only want to be your friend..." one day and the next listened to him say how much he loves & misses you. We deserve something and this is our tribute.

Here's to the ones that took him back.
Hoping that maybe this time he was different
Hoping that maybe people really do change!
We listened to our friends tell us that we''re stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him for while.
We went through the great stage with no fights all over again.
We started this out thinking we would be just friends and ended up falling in love with him again.
We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time...
And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us!

Here's to the ones who believed what he said
Sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours or a few days.
Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again.
We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment or even that he fell asleep early.
We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us .
We learned to settle for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated.

Here's for the ones who did their hair and makeup and put on their prettiest earrings only to hear him say that he COULDN'T see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again!

This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day & wonder "What if..."

This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an 'ex girlfriend who cheated on him and cried during the entire conversation.
The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better that he deserved us.
When he said that he loved you but he was in love with her  he didn't mean it.
This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with.

This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again only to have him tell us three weeks later that "Things were going too fast, he needs time..."
Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again.

This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on for fear of an "I told you so..."
The ones that could just tell that they had made a mistake by ever allowing him into their hearts & their dreams again. We knew that we deserved better the entire time that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us.
We just wanted the one that we loved like that.

Here's for the ones that finally realized that he never gave a crap about them.
Here's for the time that he broke your heart again.
This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears and he tears that turned into anger, then disappointment.
Here are for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better!

This is for those confusing days when you miss him and want nothing more than to hear his voice or feel his arms around your waist.
Stay strong and remember that relationships are like broken glass; sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together & get hurt :'D

Remember the times you cried & how long it took YOU EVEN BE ABLE TO LOOK AT ANOTHER GUY LIKE THAT!
When 'your song' comes on the radio, turn the station.
When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made & tries calling, turn your phone off.
When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door.
Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation & the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the hell he was.
Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night & how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to.

One day you'll find a guy, who's worth all the tears, but he WON'T make you cry :)
You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to but you will.
It's going to hurt like hell & it's going to need time to heal, but the point is it WILL HEAL.
This is for those girls who fell back in love with their 'ex only to get hurt all over again. 


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Once upon a time...

"Thank you for being my first love.
I love you, Na!"
"Thank you for loving me.
I love you more, Bert!"
"Love you most... Don't leave me!"
"I won't..."

"Love you, Bert..."
"Sorry, I'm with her now..."
"Didn't you say, you love me?"
"I DID. Sorry..."
"Will you miss me?"
"Sorry... I do not know."

"Sorry! I'm selfish. Please, forgive me..."
"I love you! Give me one chance to prove it!"
"Promise me you will not 
leave me again"
"I will keep my words!"

"Break up?"
"She's better than you..."
"Should I hold you, Bert?"
"You should not. Goodbye..."
"You are and will always be
the hardest goodbye"

"I was wrong. Forgive me. 
Give me a second chance!"
"I love you!!"
"Will you break my heart once again?"
"I swear I will not. I promise!"

"When will you go to Perth?"
"I'm here. PERTH!"
"You are always be my hardest goodbye, Bert."
"Don't leave me alone..."
"You begged me not to leave you, 
but you always did.
You promised me, but acted otherwise..."

"My first and my last. My love of my life.
The one who warm my days and heart.
She deserves the best, God!"
"I love him. But God, You love him more"

Human can only PLAN it but God DECIDES it!